ME ME ME!

I know I know how selfish right? But here is the thing near nada nothing is about me in this season of life. My time my life my thoughts all revolve around my kids and husband so I made this blog for ME something of my own and because why not all the cool moms are doing it. But this season of life is HARD! On top of that football life is HARD, I know GASP having a husband who plays in the NFL must mean I sit around eating bonbons with my personal chef, trainer, house cleaner, and nanny take care of everything right? WRONG very wrong I am all of those things, those are all my jobs and to also clear the air we are not by any means millionaires (but don’t get me wrong there are plenty of people who have all of those things and have millions and I have nothing against that at all and maybe in my next season of life I will want those things). Being a NFL wife/girlfriend/mama takes strength and independence because you are by yourself most of the time. My husband works six days a week, and travels every other week or sometimes two weeks in a row. During the summer for football camp he has to stay in a hotel for almost a month. Now by any means am I complaining, just trying to give a realistic view of what NFL life is really like. There is no job security NOTHING is guaranteed in the football world, not the team not the contract nothing. The only thing I have learned to love is the friendships.

Like I said I am definitely not complaining because my husband works hard and it has allowed me to be a stay at home mom and go places and do things I would have never dreamed I would go and be able to take my kids as well. By nature I am not an outgoing person, give me books over people any day actually give me anything over people because I am not a people person at all. But in this football life I have definitely had to come out of my shell, why now? Because it can be really freaking lonely being on the opposite coast from all your family and anything you have ever known and football has become family. In this season of life the people I relate to most are my other football wives/girlfriends/mamas they know exactly what it is like to move, to be cut from a team, to have a baby all by yourself (that did not happen to me but there was a chance it could), to be alone with your kids day in day out with very little breaks, to have to find all new doctors, and navigate a whole new city. And something suck at is asking for help!

Last year was probably the hardest and best year of my life. Quinton was in his second year of being with the Seahawks and he was cut…. I was also 6 months pregnant. I struggled mentally and psychically. I had horrible sciatica (pain in my lower back all the way down my leg) and some days actually most days I could barely walk and would be in tears. Quinton quickly got picked up by the Rams so we were very lucky that he was still on the same coast, but soon as the Rams picked him up was the exact day he also had to leave us. To say I was sad was an understatement my right hand my partner and best friend was now gone, my kids their dad was gone. I know that sounds very melodramatic but in football world again family is everything and at the end of day that is the only consistent thing you have (and again hello we are on the opposite coast no other family but us over here and now we were about to be separated!!!). Mentally I was not doing ok and you know what I did? I asked for help and I told my OBGYN exactly what I was feeling and she said what I was feeling was completely normal and found me a great therapist. Each day I am still working on myself and I still see my wonderful therapist, I have no shame in it and think everyone should have one. After all of this it ended with Q being back with the Seahawks and we had our handsome sweet loving Yasin. So last year it was very up and down but it ended in the best possible way with him being born. Some other better parts of last year was not only all the lovely ladies who reached out to me and showed me what true friendship was like, like truly how did I exist without knowing some of these ladies before football? But it is the season I am in and they were meant to enter my life at this time of life. Also last year literally rocked my brain that now nothing phases me in the football world! Ok ok I know another sort of sappy one but I promise they won’t all be like this!!!